Meet the Ex
by Mary B. Wolf
Summary: And Eventually You'll Have to Dodge Her Bullets - An old face from Hatter's past shows up and she isn't entirely welcome. With a bit of romance snuck in at the end there. /OC with threads of a story that will be written eventually.


Meet the Ex (And You'll Eventually Have to Dodge Her Bullets)

Even though impetusofadream didn't specifically request two fics, I wrote her other option as well. Sort of. She wanted "Hatter/Alice fic your choice of situation but perferably with a nod to Either the Carroll books that was not explored in Alice or some of the creatures form Disney's animated Alice in Wonderland *the awesome old one, not the new Burton one*" I did the cat (with a little romance snuck in there at the end). Yes, yes, I know, there was a cat in _Alice_. Quite frankly, it seemed really random and kinda stupid to me, so I'm choosing to forget that part of canon and redoing it here. Also, catch the threads of plot. Catch them! I'm going to write that eventually.

*Vaguely connected to _Two Young Boys_, although you don't have to read that to understand this by any means.

* * *

There was a cat sitting in front of Alice's door. What was she doing with a cat? Hatter studied it idly as he waited for her to open the door. She'd often told him that he didn't have to knock and he could just come in- and while he wouldn't have a problem doing that with just about anyone else, especially a woman, he didn't want to disrespect Carol or Alice that way.

It was a grey tabby and totally unremarkable, except for the fact that he knew it. Or her, rather. He'd been involved with her once.

"Hello, Katarin," Hatter said pleasantly. "I'd say it's nice to see you, but then I'd be lying. I still have scars from last time."

Before his eyes, the cat morphed into a sleek, petite woman with short grey hair and dark cat-eyes. "Hatter," she purred. "I see you've still got that thing." She nodded her head at his hat.

"'Course I do!" he said cheerfully. "It was a gift, after all. My first hat. It's got sentimental value to me. So why are you here, Kat?"

"I missed you, Hatter," she pouted. "Aren't you happy to see me?" She tried to put a flirtatious hand on his chest.

"No," he said flatly, brushing her hand away. "I'm with Alice now."

"Ah, Alice," she laughed. "It seems that every time a girl named Alice comes to Wonderland, she upsets the whole balance. They're awfully bad for our world. Makes it hard for people like me to...survive."

"You're a mercenary," Hatter told her bluntly, like she wouldn't know what she did to 'survive.' "So don't give me some cock and bull story about not being able to find work. This time should be perfect for you. We just overturned an entire queendom, it'll be chaos while everything gets sorted. Why are you here?"

Why wasn't Alice opening the door? She should be home by now. Was she out? Had Kat already gotten to her-?

Katarin smiled, slow and dangerous. "I'm here to see the girl who overthrew my queen."

That didn't bode well for Alice- but if Kat was using present tense, Alice was okay, and if there was anyone who could match Katarin, it would be Alice. Still...

He met her eyes squarely, making it plain he wouldn't tolerate being ignored. "Stay away from her," he ordered. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you myself."

"What's going on?" Alice appeared on the stairs, carrying a white plastic bag from the drug store.

"Nothing," Hatter said. "She was just leaving." He hadn't broken his stare, and Kat was looking coy.

"I was just catching up with Hatter here," she said, looking away from him. "He and I were once...very close. Young kids, old histories, you know how it goes." She winked. "But he's right," she added. "I was on my way out." She brushed his hip familiarly as she passed, clearly hoping to ignite some jealousy, but Hatter knew that Alice was hardly that kind of girl- and she knew what was hers. He'd never stray.

"I'm Katarin, just so you know," she said, as she began to step down. "I'm new in town and I live close by. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other." She vanished down the stairwell.

Alice looked at him, a bemused grin on her lips. "Was it just me, or did that sound like a threat?" she asked, digging in a pocket and coming closer to open the door for them.

"It _was_ a threat," Hatter said. "She's one of the Queen's assassins. Or she was, anyhow. I doubt she can afford Kat's rates now. Kat was second only to Mad March in-" he paused, trying to find the right term.

"Efficiency?" Alice supplied, heading for the kitchen.

"Yes. But she is considerably saner than March. Smarter, too, and colder. The only reason she wasn't the Queen's favorite was because March was bloodthirsty. He'd kill anyone who got in his way."

Alice set her bag on the counter with a thump. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked softly.

"Because she'll probably try to kill you," Hatter said baldly. "Watch your back, Alice, especially when you're alone." They should probably warn Carol, too. Kat would go after anyone close to Alice to hurt her before she killed her.

She nodded, her dark ponytail bobbing. "I will," she murmured. Then she looked up and, curiously, without any trace of jealousy or resentment in her voice, asked, "Did you date her?"

"No one _dates_ Katarin," Hatter replied. "But yes, we were an item once, if that's what you were asking. She left me for Mad March, though. They were together when he died the first time." She'd been wildly in love with him, actually, and now that he thought about it, he was surprised that she hadn't tried to kill _him _while his guard was down. Katarin wasn't the type to let something like that lie. Perhaps she was only biding her time...?

Alice was looking confused, and he remembered that she had no idea of that period of his history. Well, now wasn't the time to start filling in the blanks.

"So what'd you buy me?" he asked teasingly, trying to paw through the bag. He ignored the look she gave him that said she knew he was avoiding something.

"Nothing," she said airily. "I had to pick up some stuff for Mom before she got home from work."

He found a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of conditioner and a box of super-absorbent something he didn't want to think about in conjunction with Carol. He hastily shoved it back in the bag, pulled a face at Alice, who was laughing at his reaction, and asked, "Will she be joining us at supper?"

"No, she's got a date tonight," Alice said. The words came slowly to her lips, like they were unfamiliar. He supposed they were. Carol had admitted to him once that she hadn't wanted to date while Alice was still holding out hope that her father might return. Now that she had recognised he wouldn't, Carol was finally going to accept the offer of dinner a co-worker had been extending for months.

"Good for her," Hatter muttered encouragingly.

"Yeah, I guess," Alice whispered. Tears had filled her eyes and now he stepped slowly to her, enfolding her in his arms. He felt her settle her head against his shoulder but he didn't say anything. He'd learned that Alice found no comfort in the 'comforting nothings' people often whispered when they held crying girls. She needed a solid presence and someone to rub her back while she worked through it. He was more than happy to provide both.

After a moment, she gave a wet sniff and pulled away. She didn't apologise, as she normally might have, but instead lifted her face to his for a kiss. He gladly gave her one. She smelled faintly like sweat, and he knew today had been a dojo day, but under it was the sweet smell of her perfume and body wash- flowery and light.

She pulled away reluctantly, saying, "I need to go shower."

He kissed her once more before letting her go. He had to start cooking- tonight it was his turn to make dinner. And then they'd eat together and cuddle on the sofa, watching a movie, and Alice would probably fall asleep on his lap and he'd put her in her bed before kissing her forehead and letting himself out like the gentleman he pretended to be for her.

Hatter loved having a girlfriend.


End file.
